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August 15, 2010

5 Things to do With a Destroyed, Rented DVD

I just finished watching the movie, "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" (I haven't seen it for years), and despite the soppy moments and too-happy-of-an-ending, I can say half of it was brilliant.


Half? Only half? Well that's because some candy-eaters who own great big ferocious bears used the rented disk before me. So, who cares about giving it back? (Okay, the store probably really does care as to whether you give it back or not... but who cares if you get kicked out and burned alive for losing their Harry Potter disk*? There's probably an unlimited amount of uses for their DVD's that are way better than using them for what they're intended for!

*I personally do care if I got kicked out of the video rental store, and have only attempted No. 5. I also doubt they (they being the store staff) will burn you alive, if this does happen I do not claim any responsibility and recommend you also inform the police about this... even though you're dead and chances are it is unlikely that you will have the chance to discuss this with anyone.  PS. Ignore Number 5.

1. Guitar picks and other musical accessories.


You can cut these up and make whatever, but what better use than to use those jagged edges to play your brand new guitar, or to cut out a clarinet reed - it's probably the cheapest instrument-accessory-maker you could ever buy!*

*I do not claim any responsibility for cut lips, broken strings or blatantly ruined instruments.


2. Frisbee!


Who doesn't like a good game of Frisbee? But those Frisbee disks are so heavy, not to mention they're hard to throw for the little ones. These DVD disks are easier to handle, easier to see and are sure to blind you with that awesome reflection off the sun - and we know we all love the sun! It's also got that tiny hole where when playing with the dog, he'll catch it in an instant knowing there's something to hook his vicious teeth on to.


3. Free birthday presents.


With the economy having a hissyfit at you every five seconds, it's quite difficult to afford to give your friends their yearly birthday present; but rather than disappoint your friends, why not give them a DVD? When it's not working, tell 'em that you lost the receipt, but they're always appreciate the time and effort you went through to spend your well-earned money on them.

4. Put it in the microwave.

Simply because it makes pretty sparks... now who doesn't like pretty sparks? No seriously, I will gouge you eyes out and give them to someone's pet bear, because sparks are pretty and you must like them.

5. Give it back to the video rental store.


No, you're right, that's really not fun, but it's surely worth that warm fuzzy feeling you get in your heart when you do something right (for once). They might even give you a sticker or a lollipop just so you can stick it on one of their other DVDs and annoy the next person who pays three bucks to watch it.

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